Introducing Therapy To Your Child
Starting therapy can feel like a big step - for both you and your child. Knowing how to introduce the idea can help your child feel more safe, understood, and open to the experience.
How to Talk to Your Child About Therapy
Every child is different, so how you approach the conversation will depend on their age, personality and needs.
Choose a calm moment when you’re both feeling relatively settled. Gently let your child know that you’ve noticed things have been difficult for them lately, and that you want to support them. You can explain that you’ve found someone who is trained to help children understand their thoughts, feelings, and worries - someone who really “gets” what it’s like to have big emotions or confusing experiences.
It’s important to emphasise that therapy is not a punishment and that your child hasn’t done anything wrong. Rather, it’s a space just for them - somewhere safe, private, and supportive.
The Backpack Story
You’re welcome to use this story if it feels helpful in introducing the idea of therapy to a younger child:
Imagine everyone carries a backpack you can’t see. At first, it’s light - maybe just a few little things inside. But over time, more and more gets added: worries, tricky feelings, heavy days. Sometimes, things get shoved in quickly and forgotten about. Eventually, the backpack starts to feel really heavy.
A therapist is like someone who helps you take the backpack off, open it up, and gently sort through what’s inside. Together, you can decide what to keep, what to let go of, and how to carry the rest in a way that feels easier.
And if the backpack gets heavy again - because life is like that sometimes - you’ll know it’s okay to ask for help.
What to Say (and What to Avoid)
Children and young people are often told that therapy is “someone to talk to about your problems” - but talking can feel overwhelming, especially for those who don’t yet have the words for how they feel.
Instead of framing it as “a place to talk”, you could say something like:
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“You’ll be able to draw, play, or use toys if you want to.”
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“There’s no pressure to talk - you can just see how it feels to be there.”
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“The therapist’s job is to help you understand tricky feelings and help things feel a bit easier.”
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Let your child know that it’s okay if they feel nervous – it is completely normal and understandable as they are meeting a new person for the first time! Looking at my website together and showing them my photo can help make things feel more familiar. For younger children, you could invite them to imagine what kind of person I might be or what my room will look like.
If you’ll be attending reflective parenting sessions with me, it’s important to let your child know. You might say something like, “We’re all learning how to understand each other better - and I’m getting some help too.” Framing it as a family process can reduce feelings of blame or shame.
It’s completely natural for children to feel unsure about starting therapy. Let them know that it’s okay to feel nervous or not want to go - but that sometimes we need to try things even when they feel new or unfamiliar. You can reassure them that the first few sessions are just about getting to know each other, and they don’t have to dive into anything they’re not ready for.
When to Tell Them
Children and young people need time to process new information, so give them as much notice as feels manageable for them.
Younger children
often benefit from being told about the appointment a few days to a week in advance. If you live locally, you might even walk past the practice so they can get a sense of the space. You could plan a treat afterwards - like going to a café or park - to help create a sense of routine and comfort around the session.
Adolescents
may need more time to adjust to the idea of therapy. Let them know earlier, involve them in the process where possible, and be open to their questions or concerns. If they have friends who are also in therapy, they might want to talk to them first.